November 12th
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Cashmere for socks
I've finally taken the plunge and bought some cashmere for socks. Seems an unlikely idea, doesn't it? Hip Knits seduced me with their hand-dyed sock yarn and I succombed to several skeins for D, me and Toz. The boys won't appreciate cashmere and it won't last longer than 2 days with them, so they are still on German sock yarn. I also bought some lace weight cashmere because I couldn't resist.
Knitting as therapy
I know we do it. I've always done it. I use knitting as therapy for all and everything. It still surprises me, how effective it is. If I think back to when I was a mid-teenager, and the raw fury that ran through me at abuse, neglect, abandonment, contempt, and yet I could calm my physiology by knitting. When my parents died, I was 21, I knitted colourful, expansive throws, explosive creations amongst the Patricia Roberts extravaganzas. I didn't have anything to say, couldn't get any words out, but I did knit. Then, through just difficult times, raising very small children, for example, knitting gave me substance and form in a world of never-ending, meaningless detail.
Now things are not bad, times are in fact very good, and I find knitting is not *necessary* but I miss it when I don't do it. It's become a type of meditation for me. If I haven't done any regular knitting for a while, I lose some of my grounding, my centring. It's not that it provides me with time to reflect, I always build that in, anyway, whatever I am up to or in to, it's the actual physical, rhythmic activity of flicking the needles and winding the yarn and feeling the yarn slip through the fingers. Bliss.
I haven't knit much in the last three weeks, I've been unbelievably busy with going on training courses myself (yes, they are endless) and teaching my own courses, let alone running a clinic at almost full time, keeping the family stuff going (minimally), and finding time to be with D. [Sigh]. So today I am getting into the cashmere socks on two circular needles: knit half a round, type a phrase, knit another half round, see what the puppy is doing, knit half a round, answer the phone, knit another half round, type another phrase. Don't think about production, think about process.
Birthday Girl
I've had another birthday - my 49th - so now I am in my 50th year. This is surprisingly liberating :) I have this weird feeling that from 50 I am going to spread my wings again, seriously, this time, unencumbered by kids and other such responsibilities. I may reinvent myself, yet again. For the how manyeth time is that? I don't think i'm going to change career as what I do is so exciting anyway, but I'll let it lead me into new areas. It hasn't occurred to me yet that 50 is getting "old", or that there are things not open to me any more that I want to do. What I am really not used to is being looked after on my birthday. D cooked me a birthday supper a couple of days afterwards - really, really strange feeling, and amazingly wonderful. I could get into this.
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